Bondage always implies domination, but not necessarily S/M. Some men like the sweet agony of being tied up and then subjected to a long blow job to which they can respond only with groans; or to having their body licked and caressed until they’re mad with pleasure; or to being fucked in the mouth or in the ass while they writhe, unable to do anything to stop the action. Other men prefer being the dominator. They like nothing better than to handcuff their partner or tie him tightly to the bedpost or bed board to feel complete control over him; the domination can then be teasing, gentle, or rough. When it is a part of S/M sex, bondage is an extreme dramatization of the master- slave relationship: The master is in such total control that obedience is no longer an issue. The thrill for the slave comes from his being completely dependent on the master (and the complete trust this dependence signifies). What to use in bondage? Women and some men prefer softer ties—silk, satin, chamois, any material that is completely pleasurable to the touch. Others prefer leather thongs and wear them wrapped around their neck (or a dog collar) when they go out at night, as advertisement and inducement. Still others use anything handy— telephone and electrical wiring, bedsheets, towels, metal and plastic police restraints—just as long as it fits into the roles being played. The biggest turn-on, and conversely the biggest problem, in bondage is control— and the lack of it. While the master’s control is crucial and indeed desirable to some degree, the exact degree of control ought to be decided upon in advance by both par- ties. This will keep the bondage a sexual turn-on and keep it from becoming a dangerous, frightening experience.